Since I’ve been living in Utah again, I’ve had lots of opportunities to meet fellow bloggers. Combined with the blogging conferences I’ve attended over the last 2 years, I’ve made some amazing contacts. Some are photography bloggers, some are adoption advocates, some do professional blogging on behalf of businesses. Last week I attended a meetup of local Utah bloggers. As I introduced myself to people I was meeting for the first time, I was asked “What do you blog about?” and “What kind of blogger are you?” It’s often difficult for me to answer the second question, because I don’t consider myself a mommy blogger.

I’m a mom. I blog. But I hate the term “mommyblogger.”

The tagline of my blog used to read “The Culture Loving Pilot Wife Mom Blog.” I was in a very specialized niche of women, the pilot wife/girlfriend bloggers. A lot of people are interested in the unique experiences and struggles that a family in aviation experience. But after a few years of having my blog being focused on being a wife and a mom, I was forgetting to write for myself.

Now don’t get me wrong. I fiercely love my husband and daughter. They are the two most important people in my life. I devote an enormous amount of energy toward working and sacrificing for their happiness. However, I have realized through much trial and error that I don’t survive well without focusing on myself.

I have been blogging for 9 years now. I’ve blogged on a variety of platforms – Blogger, LiveJournal, Myspace, and now WordPress. My blog has evolved several times in each platform.

A few years ago, Mashable posted an article titled “Top 10 Misconceptions About Mommy Bloggers.” The list includes cliches, such as “Mommy bloggers just write to get free stuff,” “Mommy bloggers only write about baby-related topics,” and “Every mom that blogs loves being referred to as a Mommy Blogger.” For a long time, I didn’t mind when people called me a mommyblogger. And when I started adding MOM to my blog tagline, my traffic increased. But after reading and writing blogs for almost a decade, I’ve realized a key reason that I am not a traditional mommyblogger.

I embrace my imperfection.

There is a difference between chaos and imperfection. Everyone knows that being a mom can be chaotic. But many of the closest friends I’ve made through blogging are the ones that have been able to sympathize and commiserate on weight loss,  depression and health problems. And those topics are the hardest for me to write about because I reveal my imperfections and insecurities. And I’ve also found a lot of strength.

When I began blogging in 2002, I didn’t know a lot of people who blogged. I would add everyone’s blog to my reading list, comment faithfully, and loyally read every post. By keeping up with all these blogs, I had the same problem as when I wrote more traditional “mommy blog” posts. I got sucked into everyone else’s life, and didn’t give myself enough time to focus on me. Six months ago, I made the difficult decision to give up Google Reader. As hard as it was to stop following the lives of so many friends I’ve come to know over the years, it was also very cathartic. I found myself comparing myself less to others. I spent my precious free time reading about topics that I wanted to know more about, rather than following the minute details of every friend’s child’s dance recital or potty-training success.

Do I feel like a jerk that I gave up every detail of my friends lives? Of course I do. But do I regret it? Not at all.

And I’m not embarrassed to say it…because this blog is about me. I’m a “self-centered” blogger. And it’s totally okay.

First day of 5th grade – 1990 and 2011 – Turquoise shirt and hot pink backpack

Like mother, like daughter?

I stopped breathing for a moment. I thought I was a cool mom listening to cool music.

My parents stopped listening to most of the latest stuff when I was a kid, opting to ignore the pop/punk/new wave of the 80′s and stick with their mellow 70′s singer/songwriters. I love the 70′s singer/songwriters, don’t get me wrong. My parents always seemed to humor me with a few songs from my station before going back to their cassette tapes of James Taylor, America, Carole King, and Crosby Stills Nash and Young. But around the time I was 11, I definitely had acquired my own unique taste in music. It appears that with my daughter, this has come full circle.

Since my musical tastes evolved so much around the time I was Rosie’s age, I decided to share these songs and stories with her. And because I don’t want to forget my early memories of how these songs affected my life, I’ve decided to do a “Flashback” series of posts about music that made a profound impact on me.

After I got past my tweenage obsession with New Kids On The Block, I started to listen to more “alternative pop.” When I couldn’t sleep at night, I’d sneak downstairs to watch videos on VH1 and MTV (back when they focused on music videos, not reality tv.) There were two videos that made lasting impact on me – Tori Amos’ “Silent All These Years” and R.E.M.’s “Losing my Religion.”

R.E.M’s “Out of Time” album was released in 1991, and “Losing My Religion” was their top hit on the album. Previously, most of REM’s radio airplay was done on campus radio stations. “Losing My Religion” launched this alternative rock band into mainstream radio. It was critically acclaimed for their stark and somewhat sacrilegious imagery. However, the phrase “losing my religion” is slang in the southern United States for losing one’s temper or civility. When you get mad, you sometimes lose your religion.

The catchy E minor, A minor, D and G chord structure combined with a folksy mandolin riff and Michael Stipe’s distinct voice became REM’s most popular hit in the US. And it’s my favorite song off of “Out of Time.”

And it’s a song my daughter thinks is pretty cool, even though it came out when I was her age.

Some call ‘em “bangs,” some call ‘em “fringe.” But Rosie and I both have them now.

Not too long ago, she was just a little girl. Now Rosie is a young lady.

Rosie has a tortilla face! With funny random things like this, there’s no doubt why I keep her around (other than the fact that she’s my daughter)

After being back from London for only one day, Rosie and I roadtripped up to Rexburg, ID. Rosie was feeling left out because we didn’t bring her to London, so I promised her we’d do something fun over fall break. I’ve wanted to drive up and see my sister Mary at BYU-Idaho since she started last year, and now she’s in her last semester. We dropped Taylor off in SLC, drove on the Legacy Parkway for the first time, and headed north on I-15 Wednesday afternoon. I made my two usual stops…gas at the Flying J in Willard, and dinner at Jack in the Box in Pocatello. We arrived in the ‘Burg around 8:30 pm.

Mary, Monica, Rosie and I got frozen custard a BRC’s

It was fun to share college stories with Rosie. She said she already knows she wants to go to BYUI. She is interested in the nursing program, but let’s see what she says in 9 years when it’s time to declare a major.

I had fun getting to know Mary’s roommates, and as this picture attests…they were very sad to see me leave. We had fun stalking people on Facebook…like an old boyfriend of mine, whose brother is friends with Mary’s roommate. Small world.
This was my first time to Rexburg since the temple was dedicated. When driving into town at night, it looks like the temple is floating about of town. It would have been nice to have this available when I was a student, but I do have fun memories of Idaho Falls temple trips with my student ward. My favorite diner from back then is now a hot tub store, and the Retrix dance club is now a home decorating store. There’s loads of new married student housing, many more restaurants, a movie theater, and a lot more students. There are several more buildings on campus…and the Manwaring Center just opened a gorgeous new cafeteria. I went to Foundations of Light and Sound with Mary, pretending to be a student (also to have internet access, since it was blocked from Mary’s apartment for guests.

We participated in some Walmart hijinks until the store employee reprimanded us

Mary made us some stellar banana Nutella crepes

After class on Friday, we went into Idaho Falls. Weshopped for a few hours at the Grand Teton Mall. I found a new dress, which was much needed at Dillards. Rosie had fun posing in the rides for silly pictures. She got to visit with some cousins while Mary and I met Taylor’s cousing Kylie at Craigo’s back in Rexburg. We returned to SLC on Saturday morning in time to attend a funeral and a wedding.

This weekend we bought Rosie a new helmet. Between bike riding and skateboarding, I’ve been pretty adamant about Rosie keeping her brain protected. She hasn’t had a bike here very long, but I’ve been paranoid every time she went out riding without a helmet. In Michigan and Georgia, I always saw kids wearing helmets, and in California it was about half of the time. Since we’ve been back in Utah, I have not seen one kid in our neighborhood wearing a helmet!

I wanted to have Rosie be an example to her peers, showing it was cool to wear a helmet. I let her choose any helmet she wanted (and of course, she chose the $30 one) Today Rosie came into the house sobbing. Some of the neighbor kids were taunting and teasing her about wearing a helmet. It made me so sad.

I have read multiple operative reports of patients with brain injuries, often caused by bike crashes. So many traumatic brain injuries could have been avoided if these people had worn a helmet. I’m curious now…how many of you wear a helmet, or require your kids to wear a helmet when riding a bike?