It’s hard to believe that this could feel so right

Sunday morning I had planned on attending a singles ward with Kellie, since Rosie would still be gone. But I had absolutely no desire to do so after my night with Taylor. I think that my prayer and scripture study was much more advantageous to setting myself on the meat market to be observed. I chatted with Steve for a few this morning, gave him the rundown on the Taylor situation…and declined the Sarah tix. I think I want to suprise Taylor with tickets. I picked up Rosie around noon from Steve. She had such a gorgeous flower girl dress from Selena’s wedding. I think I will need to get her picture taken in it. Taylor and I made plans to get together after church.

Sacrament meeting was wonderful. I partook of the sacrament for the first time since January. I don’t think it has ever been so meaningful….

As now our minds review the past we know we must repent
The way to thee is righteousness, the way thy life was spent
Forgiveness is a gift from Thee we seek with pure intent
With hands now pledged to do Thy work, we take the Sacrament

Sunday school was also excellent. RS was on principles of financial security. We discussed the blessings of paying a full tithe. That reminded me of Friday night, when Taylor called me when I was at the dance. He had called to find out which CDs I wanted him to burn for me. He had joked, “Ah, the blessings that come from paying your tithing.” It was cool.

Scripture of the day: Alma 26:35-37

Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, wisdom and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel, and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.

Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

I invited Taylor to come for dinner with my family. I went over straight after church so I had some time to be with my fam before he arrived. I gave my mom a heads up on the evening before, so she could be prepared. I had told her that Taylor had said that he loved me, and she got so excited and gave me a huge hug. I made him a mix cd of songs I like, but I think there might have been an error on it…I’ll have to ask him if it worked okay. We had tacos, then watched part of the Pearl Awards. I was hoping to see ME on camera, but the only shot I was in had my head cut off. LOL.

After watching the Pearls, Taylor and I took a walk on the Jordan River Parkway. We walked hand in had, enjoying the scenery and getting to know each other…with a little talk that nudged toward future plans. He asked me what my plans were for the next six months. I had said that I would continue to work, and make the decision about school (as to which program, full vs part time, and where to attend) I had told him that when I have prayed about it, I hadn’t ever gotten any definite positive answers. He said “You do need to make a decision though. The Lord can’t direct a parked car.” He also said that he’d like to be a part of helping me make my decision.

We did a little “comparison-ing”, how when we date people there is a a natural tendency to see how people compare to others we have been interested in. Both of us have dated several people in the two months we didn’t see each other. He said that he always compared them to Amanda. But with me, I don’t even compare…I stand on my own. (What an amazing compliment) He’s never dated or been interested in someone divorced or someone with a child, but with me it doesn’t intimidate him. We discussed how he had gotten engaged so quickly previously, and had vowed to take things slow with his next relationship. But we both know the feelings are there. We would be so good for each other. He has been good for my self-confidence, giving me affirmations like “Don’t ever doubt your self worth again,” and “You are a truly amazing woman.” How can a person not feel loved when hearing that and knowing that it is meant in all honesty and adoration?

This was one of the most beautiful and fulfilling conversations I have ever had. We talked about the importance of keeping our behavior in check, because nothing is worth losing out on the temple marriage opportunity. He didn’t propose to me, obviously….but I can definitely see us going in that direction….starving student and all. I was looking in his mingle profile today, and loved some of his comments…

If I had $10 million… I guess one doesn’t need a lot of Babylon to be happy. A nice house in the suberbs would be cool. (maybe one by the beach too!) I love to travel and would like to spend sometime in Europe and just getting to know this beautiful world, hopefully going on a lot of missions. Oh yeah, a car that doesn’t break down on me every few months would be way nice!

My perfect day would be… Going up Pacific Coast highway in a convertible (I can dream, can’t I?) with good music, good friends (or even better, my mate), and good weather. Most importantly, school has to be the most distant thing from my mind. I hope for a day in the future when I can come home from a great job and see my wife and kids and just know in that moment that all is right with the world!

One final thing I’d like to mention… Nah, I’m not that complicated! 🙂

Needless to say, I’m one happy camper!

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