Saturday I didn’t have much planned, and Wade called me to see if I’d like to see a movie. We went and saw “The Terminal.” Very good flick. And we got ice cream after. Very nice guy, although young. I was a bit anxious to get to my date with Taylor.
He picked me up around 6:30 and we headed up to This is the Place. He had taken my hand in his almost as soon as we got in the car, which he had never done before. He had made a mix CD of Sarah McLachlan, Sting, and John Mayer. When “Possession” came on, and we were both singing along….we gave me a look that was much more than friendly. It was a sultry hot evening, sprawled out on blankets under a blazing sun. I got a little bit sunburned, but the gorgeous sunset made up for it. Peter B and Nancy Hanson were headliners, along with some other LDS performers. However, we felt like we were a mile back and the sound system was poor, so the concert was just background noise to some wonderful conversations.
My attraction to him was nearly immediate. Beginning with holding hands, and progressing to cuddling, and eventually our first kiss. It was kinda funny because when Peter B came out and everyone started screaming…I said to Taylor “Now that’s what it’s all about!” And he replied…”No, this is.” And he pulled me in and I was a goner. There were a lot of kisses…but it wasn’t like we made out. Just a few sweet pecks here and there. And when he pulled me into his arms it just felt so….right. But it wasn’t just about our physical attraction, I also was impressed on many other levels. (Mentally, spiritually, etc…) And wow, how wonderful his compliments are! “How did you get so dang beautiful?”
We ate dinner at Noodles and Co. He told me about the rough life he’s had with his family (5 divorces, father in prison, psycho sister, etc…) And I gave him more background on my relationship with Steve, and he seemed so appalled and disgusted and the things that I’d been through in my marriage. He said that nobody deserves to be treated so terribly, and he’d never do anything to make me feel less of a person. We had joked earlier in the week that he has too much free time this summer and he needed a hobby….he said he wanted me to be his hobby. He made it very clear that he wanted to be with me, and at the end of the evening he told me that he loved me. “I love you, girl” were his exact words, and that is the first time a man has expressed that before I had.
I have been on dates with many people since my divorce…30 or so I’d guess. And even with the ones I’ve had a connection to…none of them have made me felt this way, and taken away my desire to date other men. But it didn’t take long for me to decide that I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
I spent a lot of time on my knees, reading my scriptures and studying my patriarchal blessing today. And I had a VERY strong impression that I need to allow this relationship to develop. When I was dating Steve, and had asked those same questions, my answer was to not end it, just allow it to happen and see where it went. And reading in my PB about the mate that I need to seek just sealed the deal, because I believe that Taylor would fulfill all these requirements.
I’ve been telling myself to take things slow when I found someone that I wanted to be serious with, but I have such a strong desire to pursue our relationship. As good as the answers to prayers felt today, I wonder if it is more the spirit saying it is right, or my own self wanting it to be right. Time will tell. I think that the distance between us having him in Provo may be advantageous, as hard as it will seem when we want to spontaneously get together. However, he has been thinking about moving to SLC because his friend is needing a roommate. Ah, how nice it would be….
Okay…I’m tired. I will talk about the Sunday night adventure later. I’m off to bed to “sleep just to dream him.”