Eight years ago today

Current mood: nostalgic

On March 26, 1999…Steve and I were married. We were married 4.5 rollercoaster years, then divorced.

It’s kinda weird to think back on my life with him. It started out okay…we were married in the temple, and came from good backgrounds. We had some good moments and some fun trips, but the bad in our marriage definitely outweighed the good. He made choices that were wrong continually, yet I chose to “stand by my man.” Many moments were shear hell, to be honest. But a woman can only stand so much deceit, abuse, and disappointment. Leaving him (or kicking him out, rather) was the hardest but most rewarding decision I have ever made.

We’ve been divorced 3.5 years, and I’ve been married to Taylor almost 2.5 years now. My time with Steve seems like an eternity ago. It’s amazing to compare the love and adoration I receive in my marriage with Taylor, that was never present with Steve. I feel cherished and understood, and despite the student-husband scenario…I feel like he’s taken good care of me.

Despite the trials I’m going through now, I’m happy. I am confident about myself in a way that I haven’t felt since high school. I’m healthy, I’m feeling spiritually well, and I’ve got a lot going for me. It’s taken a long time for me to heal from the wounds of the Steve years…but I think I’m there. I have some amount of bitterness due to his actions, especially those taken against Rosie…but I have forgiven him. I am sad that he is suffering the consequences of his actions in such a severe way. I’m sad that he didn’t get the help he needed before he became out of control. But I can only be involved so much, and I’m happy that I don’t have to be in contact with him anymore.

Currently listening :
Speak for Yourself
By Imogen Heap
Release date: 01 November, 2005
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