Every summer, I feel myself pulling back a bit.
For most of the year, I am used to having a crazy busy manic life, jam packed with every possible activity and obligation imaginable. But once the weather heats up, I feel like my natural extroversion pulls back and my introvert comes out. I don’t feel like getting out as much. I feel like I need more time for relaxation, regrouping, and seclusion. The heat sucks the life out of my soul, and I want to reside in a cool dark room.
In past summers, I’ve felt the weight of very heavy clinical depression. Two of these years felt so dark that I struggled with despair to the point that suicidal thoughts crept in. I am grateful that I was able to work through those dark periods, and haven’t experienced any blackness of that magnitude since. But with the track record I’ve had the last 6 years, it’s not surprising that I struggle in the summer months.
This year I have felt tugs of the summertime blues, but nothing to the point that I am worried or fearful. I am so much healthier than I’ve been in past years, which I know has made a difference in my disposition. There are some major life changes on deck, which have taken up a lot of my mental resources to prepare for. I crave time away from the noise, to read a book, and withdraw from the constant yammering of social media. As a social media manager, it seems funny to say that. But in my time away from work, I have been enjoying my time away from laptop screen. Sometimes a week will go by without me opening up my laptop at home.
I am fortunate to live less than a block from the Jordan River Parkway. I spend a lot of my evenings walking or riding my bike along the river. The water flows at a pace that I crave for my life’s balance. I try to time my outings so I can see the sun set over the Oquirrh Mountains. That’s something that I rarely do during the wintertime.
I’ve done some traveling in the last month. I went to California for a friend’s wedding, to Bryce Canyon and Cedar Breaks for a weekend family getaway, and I just returned from Portland for FitBloggin. Each place I go, I spend time enjoying the natural beauty. It is good for my soul.
If I don’t post as often this summer, don’t be alarmed. I’m just taking some time for myself. As much as I love to write, and I take pride in my blogs, it’s good to get away sometimes.