Thursday Green

Dear IRS,
Thank you for your promises of a generous tax refund. I am happy that it will soon pad my unemployed bank account. I look forward to my future rebate check as well.

So why must you tease me with promises of $2100 direct deposited into my account by March 14th? It’s now the 20th and I have seen no evidence of this deposit. The automated alerts went through correctly, I remembered my AGI from last year to use as my PIN, and I took the standard deduction. Are you penalizing my patience and early-filing diligence with a hand-examined return by one of your auditors?

Please respond soon. Or better yet, just silently slip $2k into my bank account tonight. I have student loan payments due tomorrow.

Love,
Nicole

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