Not a Mommy Blogger

Rosie Bullock and Nicole BullockSince I’ve been living in Utah again, I’ve had lots of opportunities to meet fellow bloggers. Combined with the blogging conferences I’ve attended over the last 2 years, I’ve made some amazing contacts. Some are photography bloggers, some are adoption advocates, some do professional blogging on behalf of businesses. Last week I attended a meetup of local Utah bloggers. As I introduced myself to people I was meeting for the first time, I was asked “What do you blog about?” and “What kind of blogger are you?” It’s often difficult for me to answer the second question, because I don’t consider myself a mommy blogger.

I’m a mom. I blog. But I hate the term “mommyblogger.”

The tagline of my blog used to read “The Culture Loving Pilot Wife Mom Blog.” I was in a very specialized niche of women, the pilot wife/girlfriend bloggers. A lot of people are interested in the unique experiences and struggles that a family in aviation experience. But after a few years of having my blog being focused on being a wife and a mom, I was forgetting to write for myself.

Now don’t get me wrong. I fiercely love my husband and daughter. They are the two most important people in my life. I devote an enormous amount of energy toward working and sacrificing for their happiness. However, I have realized through much trial and error that I don’t survive well without focusing on myself.

I have been blogging for 9 years now. I’ve blogged on a variety of platforms – Blogger, LiveJournal, Myspace, and now WordPress. My blog has evolved several times in each platform.

A few years ago, Mashable posted an article titled “Top 10 Misconceptions About Mommy Bloggers.” The list includes cliches, such as “Mommy bloggers just write to get free stuff,” “Mommy bloggers only write about baby-related topics,” and “Every mom that blogs loves being referred to as a Mommy Blogger.” For a long time, I didn’t mind when people called me a mommyblogger. And when I started adding MOM to my blog tagline, my traffic increased. But after reading and writing blogs for almost a decade, I’ve realized a key reason that I am not a traditional mommyblogger.

I embrace my imperfection.

There is a difference between chaos and imperfection. Everyone knows that being a mom can be chaotic. But many of the closest friends I’ve made through blogging are the ones that have been able to sympathize and commiserate on weight loss,Ā  depression and health problems. And those topics are the hardest for me to write about because I reveal my imperfections and insecurities. And I’ve also found a lot of strength.

When I began blogging in 2002, I didn’t know a lot of people who blogged. I would add everyone’s blog to my reading list, comment faithfully, and loyally read every post. By keeping up with all these blogs, I had the same problem as when I wrote more traditional “mommy blog” posts. I got sucked into everyone else’s life, and didn’t give myself enough time to focus on me. Six months ago, I made the difficult decision to give up Google Reader. As hard as it was to stop following the lives of so many friends I’ve come to know over the years, it was also very cathartic. I found myself comparing myself less to others. I spent my precious free time reading about topics that I wanted to know more about, rather than following the minute details of every friend’s child’s dance recital or potty-training success.

Do I feel like a jerk that I gave up every detail of my friends lives? Of course I do. But do I regret it? Not at all.

And I’m not embarrassed to say it…because this blog is about me. I’m a “self-centered” blogger. And it’s totally okay.

  • What??? You have imperfections! I’m stunned. Actually, I suppose I’ve never understood the term “mommy blogger” except it to mean I blog and I’m a Mom therefore I am. Anyhow, I’m with you; I can’t nor do I try to define my blog because truly…I’m just shooting from the hip!

  • you gave up your reader?! I am jealous. I’m not sure I could do the same but feel like my quality of life might be better…does that make sense? I like your self-centered blog. šŸ™‚

  • I know Anna, can you believe it? It was a really hard decision because I LOVE knowing what goes on in everyone’s lives. I still read blogs here and there, but I’ve decided it’s not MANDATORY for me to know everything. Maybe when I move back to Michigan I’ll have limitless time on my hands for gReader, but for now I’m grateful for blog fans like you who read faithfully. But if you stopped, I would understand šŸ™‚

  • Without stating the obvious, I’m perfect. Every imperfection I put on my blog is to pretend I have drama for my readers.

  • Yay for adoption advocates! šŸ˜‰ Thanks for the linky-loo!

    I LOVE the term “Mommy Blogger” now because my blog helped us find our 3rd child. SO CRAZY, right? And we are all a little self-centered, right? Otherwise, what in the world would we all write about. LOL

  • Nicole,

    I actually applaud your change in not “trying to keep up with everything”. Had a similar experience on Twitter. I was literally trying to read every single tweet and corresponding blogs in the tech/web/seo industry. It was ridiculous. Even though I thought I was learning a lot, I looked back and realized I was learning little to nothing about everything. I have since resorted to checking twitter twice a day or so, and now I follow only 75-ish people on Twitter. An extreme example, but I feel that it has “liberated” me in many ways.

  • I feel that way too! I’ve been half regretting my blogs title, cause I don’t really blog about being a mom (often).

  • Thanks for checking out my blog. You are a wonderful “self-centered” writer! For most of us, this writing process is cathartic, a healing sort of process. Therapy, if you will. I love reading about other people but I keep it to a minimum, especially those that I can relate to in more than one aspect. Humor is key too! Looking forward to more!

  • Pingback: Writing Samples()

%d bloggers like this: