Phony McPhonerton

Tomorrow (or tonight, or Thursday, who knows?) I’m leaving for New York City. I’m headed to the BlogHer Conference, which I’ve been excited about for MONTHS. Excited but anxious. I’ve read other bloggers’ accounts of their past experiences at the BlogHer concerences, and it seems like it could be a fine combination of awkward, awful, and awesome. I’m excited about the people I’m rooming with. I’m excited to be volunteering. I’m excited for the parties. I’m excited to meet my online friends in person, and reconnect with others I’ve previously met. But I’m worried…I feel like a bit of a phony. A self-proclaimed “blogger” who hasn’t even updated her site in over a month.

It’s been a crazy summer. Between Rosie’s rehearsals and performances in “The Music Man,” Taylor’s commute, and my school, I’ve managed to keep myself very busy. I am frustrated that school is taking so long, and was hoping to be working by now. I was really hoping to be off to NYC with a little more cash in my pocket. I’ve seriously considered not going. It’s hard to go to a big, expensive, unfamiliar place like New York without means to recover from a possible travel disaster. Some plans have already fallen through, partially due to my anxiety-ridden procrastination. As I write this, I’m still scrambling for a place to stay Wednesday night. I could plan on taking the Wednesday night red-eye from SLC…but if I miss the flight I’m hosed. Maybe I’ll try staying with another friend in an east coast city, then hop over to NYC Thursday morning. Who knows?

It’s times like these that I feel like a Phony McPhonerton. What happened to the confident, spontaneous, and blogging Nicole I usually am?

  • Umm, I know who you are!!!!! I will be there!!! Woot!

  • She’s still there. Perhaps she just went on an extended vacation with the vivacious, happy, playful Esther. They’re probably out partying together. Have no fear, they will both come home one of these days. 😀

    You can handle this trip and any travel disasters, even with out the traditional means. You’re smart, creative and know a lot of good people. Not to mention you’ve already lived through much worse.

    Be safe. Have fun. Tell me when you get home. Love you.

  • *without
    (Sorry, my typo was bugging me!)

  • I’m so glad you blogged! I wondered the other day if maybe I wasn’t getting your blogs and it turns out I forgot to add your new URL, but I still get the updates via facebook.

    I’ve been busy lately, missing a lot of blogs, but I don’t want to miss yours!!

  • Hey girl. After I went through a lot of stuff last summer with the house burning down & job loses and all that I really got anxious. It was really wierd but it happened. It’s like my body and mind had gotten me through the tough time but now that it was (fairly) over and things were settling down I could finally relax and not have to be so tough… Maybe that’s why you’ve felt more anxious or down and out those last few months. The body finally saying “wait, let me process all this”.
    On a finer note I am so glad you got to go to BlogHer 10 and I hope to be at BlogHer 11 with you girls!

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