Tuesday, July 13th, 2004

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Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
Twitterpation is a unique feeling. Forget to eat, daydreaming, and being accused of having a “smile that won’t wash away.” Nothing too thrilling went on at work, but it was a nice day nonetheless. I listened to some of the CDs Taylor burned for me (Andrea Bocelli, James Taylor, U2, and Sting) Told a few coworkers about my boy, some seemed happy, some rolled their eyes over ANOTHER guy in my life. Tried calling him on my lunch, but just got voice mail. I’m pathetic for wanting to talk to him all the time. Also picked up my Sarah tickets from the ebay guy. (We met at Fazolis. mmmm baked ziti) Monday will be such a great night!

Checked Dan’s LJ today, where he expressed some disgust over reading about my budding romance with Taylor. I sent him an email of affirmation…telling him how much the time we spent together meant to me, and wishes for a great future. We IM’d for a while, I appreciate him humoring me with a few details of my love life. “I never meant to cause you trouble, I never meant to do you harm.”

Tay and I IM’d also. I love it when he ends with “ciao bella!” He and I talked about the Five Love Languages. I so need to dig up that book for reference. He said he doesn’t think that there is one specific way that he wants to be shown love. I guess I’ll have to be creative. I said that mine was time and kind words. “LOL That won’t be easy for me!” We also talked on the phone after 9 (when his night minutes kick in) and we breached a few of the sticky subjects, like how Steve is still on the title of the house (I still am not certain on what I should do…he was saying I should sell my house at a loss and move in with my parents to save money. Not sure how I feel about that!) But I expressed some of my concerns about abandonment and self-doubt. He said that I have nothing to worry about. We made a promise to be honest, and if there are doubts and concerns about our relationship…we need to work them out as they come, not let them fester and get worse. I worry that I still have too much baggage. I’ve been thinking of going back to my counselor.

I feel like I’ve had so much extra time in the past few days! I haven’t been wasting copious amounts of text messages, haven’t made plans with other guys, and I don’t really miss it too much. I wish Taylor lived closer though, so we could spend our time together. We’re getting together Thursday night in Provo (possibly with his best friend who is married and their kid. Should be interesting)’

I’ve been thinking about my tendencies to rush things in relationships. It’s hard not to when things feel so right. I wonder why I have such a desire to make a permanent relationship arrangement. I should be taking it easy, enjoying the time we have as it comes. Must admit that I’m sad I’m not with him tonight, since it was an option.

In other news….I’ve been looking into school again. Weber’s Respiratory Therapy program is quite intriguing, and I like the idea of the distance courses and the Salt Lake Campus. Still praying about it…but I think I’ll fill out financial aid applications this week. Ah, to be a student again!

Quick Meme (courtesy of two emails I received)
CD in player: Sarah McLachlan “Afterglow”
Current Read: Jesus The Christ by James E Talmage
Last Purchase: Sarah McLachlan tickets off ebay (13th row, less than box office price!)
Next Purchase: Probably application fees for Weber State
Last movie seen: The Terminal
Next movie you want to see: The Notebook
Last Person you went out with: Taylor
Next person you want to go out with: Taylor
Last person you kissed: Taylor (my, I see a trend here)
Currently wearing: Burgandy dress and black sandals
Summer theme song: At the John Mayer concert, he said that “Clarity” was the official song for the middle of summer, and he hopes we “all find that special person to spend forever with.”

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