Apology to those who think I hate Embry Riddle

Just to clarify:

I meant no disrespect for Embry Riddle in my previous post regarding “The Bachelor – On The Wings of Love.” Personally, the only exposure I’ve had to ERAU is listening to the cockpit experiences of my husband and his pilot friends. When they hear about how “Grandpa Moneybags paid for my training at Embry Riddle,” its hard for them not to feel some resentment. Those typically are the same captains who make fun of my boys for living off of peanuts, pretzels, and Biscoff cookies (because money for their student loan payments trump a healthy meal). These loan payments often exceed their take home pay, and they went to the least expensive flight school they could find.

I do not doubt that Embry Riddle graduates gain an excellent education there, regardless of how it was financed. Maybe some of your ERAU grads who sent me hate mail will understand my perspective a little more…and will be kinder to your fellow pilots who trained in a less prestigious program.

Anonymous Compliments

Okay. I admit it. I sometimes fish for compliments. One of my favorite ego-boosting activities is as follows: Everyone in the room writes their name at the top of a blank sheet of paper, and passes it around the room for others to write an anonymous compliment. I’ve done it at choir retreats, during seminary classes, and even done it with my Activity Days girls in ATL. Another admission? I keep every single one. I read them when I have a bad day. Of course, some of them are pretty obvious by handwriting or context of message, but there are a few I’ve never figured out who the comments are from. Some are less compliments and more funny comments and inside jokes. Here are some of the highlights of what people said about/to me 1996-1998:

I love sitting by you in choir. I can actually stay on pitch…sort of. You’re awesome.

You’ve got gorgeous hair and I’m glad that I sit behind you so I can play with it.

You are really talented in acting. You should keep doing what you do. See you on Broadway.

You are so cool. I love your style. You seem to know who you are, and I admire that.

I am not trying to steal your boyfriend. You’re a good singer.

Your personality is great, and you give all the people in the room a positive feeling.

You are very intelligent and have phenomenal taste in music. Can I borrow some CDs?

Talent is prevalent where you are. I can’t believe how special you are.

I never really knew you until this year, but I like what I see. Wanna go out? Oh wait, this is anonymous. How about a blind date?

Your hair clip matches perfectly to the twinkle in your eye. Blue eyes, black hair. HOT.

You’re always cheerful and a big SPAZ! I love to talk w/you Nicole. Altos be buff!

What an awesome friend. I’m really glad to know you. You have an awesome sense of humor and you make me shout WHOOPIE! See you at your wedding 2 weeks after we graduate.

You are so hilarious. You are so boy crazy. I just laugh and laugh and laugh when I’m with you.

Nickie – you maneater! Use ’em and lose ’em. You are so fun to be around with. I can’t see what I would do without you to keep my spirits up. Oh yeah, I’d drink more Mtn. Dew.

You’re a babe, through and through. Thanks for the compliments and smiles. I’m a better person because I know you. How on earth can you be so nice to everyone all the time?

You always write the coolest quotes in your dayplanner. I like to steal it and look through your pictures. I’m glad we’re in seminary together, cuz you’re more than just a “sweet spirit” to me.

Your boyfriend is a VERY LUCKY guy. Can I date you next?

And my absolute favorite, written much like every yearbook entry he wrote to me…always something about making out with his friend (visible in the above image is from this guy)

Nicole – You should go for Joey. He’s a stud + very available. Ask him out on a date. He’ll love you cuz you’re a babe! Make out with him and tell me how it goes.

(If I’ve tagged you on Facebook, it means that I’m certain one of these quotes is from you. Do you remember what you said about me?)

The Ultimate High School Stalker Letter

I have been having a blast going through my old boxes of high school stuff. Pictures, ticket stubs, notes, old research papers, choir programs, mixtapes, and more. I’m an admitted pack rat when it comes to nostalgia, but there were some true gems in this box.

My favorite find was this letter from a boy that REALLY REALLY REALLY liked me. As in creepy-stalker-like. We met over the summer at an extra-curricular service project, and subsequently attended a leadership conference at USU. The next weekend, I accepted an invitation for a pity date. He took me to Stansbury Park Observatory, in which we sat in the back seat of an old pimped out Cadillac, driven by a 20something Hispanic buddy. It was a courtesy date in the first place, even creepier when he showed up with a chauffeur, and creepiest when he lunged toward me and started sucking on my neck on the way home. This letter was in response to the event.

Dear Nicole,
In case you were wondering, that letter that I wrote for Larry*, I also wrote a letter to you, though not nearly as gaudy. Within it were questions, that I felt only you could answer, concerning that night at the observatory!! But, I was talking to Larry* about the note, and he said that he let you read it. He said you told him not to tell me, though he told me anyways. Don’t be mad at Larry*, he still doesn’t know about how I asked you to go “skinny dipping.”

He said that when you found out that the letter was written by me, you rolled your eyes, when he told me this, it triggered an emotional spark, I thought that you were disgusted by my work, and thus tore the note to you into pieces innumerable, and threw them away. I regret that action, for the note was serious, and I have been in a downward spiral ever since that event, in fact, as I write this, I am almost certain that you are disgusted by the fact that I wrote you, and also feel that you will never read this note, due to the fact that you have shreddid it, and then probably incinerated it. So, I am probably wasting my time.

But if you’ve actually succumbed to your curiosity about what is written in these pages, then I will ask the questions that I meant to ask. I was wondering why, suddenly, I have gone from intriguing to revolting. I felt that you used to enjoy my presence, I felt that there was a sense, if only a little, of loss when I was absent. But after that night, things changed, dramatically. I have several theories on the matter. One is, when I kissed you, you found it disturbing, even the thought of such a vile creature touching your face with it’s mouth, revolting even to the point of nausea. Another might be, that you wanted me to kiss you, but sooner, and better, and more intensely. Which leads to the conclusion that my hesitance was the downfall of whatever we had built, my ignorance was the cause of it’s destruction. And then the most unlikely, when I kissed you, it triggered an emotional response, which triggered a memory of your lost love, and you did not want that to happen between us, so you stopped us from going any further.

Anyway you look at it, I am the louse. but I truly need to know my mistakes, so that I don’t destroy any more relationships. You probably consider me a coward for not confronting you directly about these issues, the reason for that is, I didn’t want to see me cry, and every time I think about my actions I feel guilt, and if I talk, my words stumble, and if I talk about it, I rain. I may actually confrunt you on these issues in hopes that you may answer. I need the knowledge that you have. I would also like to know, if we did it all over again, how would you want it to happen? And, if we were to try again, would you try to forget what had happened? I don’t wish to WASTE anymore of your time with meaningless babble.

With love and apologies,

!!!Sorry to bring up bad memories

*names changed to protect the guilty. All spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors intact. And NO! I didn’t not go skinny dipping with him. Ew!
(circa August 1996)